Thoughts....

My thoughts tonight and every night have been the same for the past week and basically my whole life; its just like that Kanye Song I Wonder " I've been waiting on this my whole life, These dreams keep me up at night"... They seriously and truly do. My dreams are to basically to take the fashion world by storm with women's Ready to wear and to give a fresh new look to the fashion industry. Its kinda sort of happening but its like I'm the Turtle and the rabbits are just running past me. Even though the turtle wins the race in that story, I am not sure I can win my race. I guess you could say I always doubt myself and that will always be my downfall (i'm working on it) It amazing when people see you on the outside doing SO well and happy they don't know how you are screaming on the inside for the bright sunshine of hope that proves dreams are real and if you dream it you can do it.
My path is sort of different and I always wonder " What if I did that? What if I stayed in school? Should I go back? What if I never left NY? where would i be today? " so many questions which always turn me back to a place I always hate, that sad place of disappointment and regret. I promised myself a long time ago I would never go back there but I always seem to find myself there when ever my thoughts get a hold of my entire body. I snap out of it and try to stay positive, its those dreams that keep me going to stay up a little longer and finish sewing or to keep writing those letters to buyers or just to keep trying. Its blessing when God gives you a talent and he opens the gates, doors, windows and everything for you to succeed. He has placed the unthinkables in front of me and Im still here. Despite being broke, no phone and my parents and soo many others hating on me Im still here. Because I know my destination but the time isn't right and god's plan is god's plan. I will try and wait here patiently as I sew every night and continue to push myself to a new day. Keep on PUSHing.P- Pray U- Until S- Something H- Happens Xo Rain

3 comments:

Good Life said...

Definitely feeling you on P.U.S.H. When we are closest to our dreams, the devil fights his hardest......

Anonymous said...

let me tell u I have been battling demons of insecurity, lost love, career and life goals for a while now...& the thing that keeps me pressing and staying strong is this one thought "when life places a stumbling block in your way u do not fall bc the more stumbling blocks the better the reward" and what that means to me when I read your blog of trials and tribulations is this...girl the pay off (not just financially) will be great greater than you could ever imagine and your appreciation of your reward will be just as equal bc when u fall and get up fall and get up again and again...when reward day cones Rain let me tell you it will be marvelous I know it and you know it bc ur dreams tell u so and trusting in your faith is the main priority....remembering what he has promised all of his children...well
smooches from 1diva2another...queenreen1982@aol.com

Alisa said...

I believe that God has a plan for your life and only you will know what that plan is. No one can tell you which direction you should be going in. Although it might feel a bit scary right now, and you might be a bit worried about your future, it will all make sense in the end.

Making the decision to leave fashion design behind was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, however, it felt so right after I did. My summer at Parsons was my breaking point, and I realized that design wasn't the direction I wanted to go in. I can still love fashion and be passionate about it, but that wasn't really the field i needed to be diving into. I'm studying education now and it feels SOOOOOOOO right.

Follow your heart sweetheart and listen for God's voice. He will tell you what's right for you! Keep your head up!!! I love what you are doing and I will ALWAYS support you!!!!