My thoughts tonight and every night have been the same for the past week and basically my whole life; its just like that Kanye Song I Wonder " I've been waiting on this my whole life, These dreams keep me up at night"... They seriously and truly do. My dreams are to basically to take the fashion world by storm with women's Ready to wear and to give a fresh new look to the fashion industry. Its kinda sort of happening but its like I'm the Turtle and the rabbits are just running past me. Even though the turtle wins the race in that story, I am not sure I can win my race. I guess you could say I always doubt myself and that will always be my downfall (i'm working on it) It amazing when people see you on the outside doing SO well and happy they don't know how you are screaming on the inside for the bright sunshine of hope that proves dreams are real and if you dream it you can do it.
My path is sort of different and I always wonder " What if I did that? What if I stayed in school? Should I go back? What if I never left NY? where would i be today? " so many questions which always turn me back to a place I always hate, that sad place of disappointment and regret. I promised myself a long time ago I would never go back there but I always seem to find myself there when ever my thoughts get a hold of my entire body. I snap out of it and try to stay positive, its those dreams that keep me going to stay up a little longer and finish sewing or to keep writing those letters to buyers or just to keep trying. Its blessing when God gives you a talent and he opens the gates, doors, windows and everything for you to succeed. He has placed the unthinkables in front of me and Im still here. Despite being broke, no phone and my parents and soo many others hating on me Im still here. Because I know my destination but the time isn't right and god's plan is god's plan. I will try and wait here patiently as I sew every night and continue to push myself to a new day. Keep on PUSHing.P- Pray U- Until S- Something H- Happens Xo Rain